The Xmas Luncheon

An open bar is a rare gift. Look it straight in the mouth and check the teeth. All the free top-shelf bourbon I can drink? At an office party? On my employer’s tab? You mean, in front of my pretentious, overpaid, well-to-do, piece of shit, art director coworkers? Bring it! I’ll drink your expense account dry, jackass! I’ll pour expensive whiskey down my throat until I pass out in my seat and piss myself. It'll take three people to carry me back to my desk. Merry fucking Christmas!