Obituaries

Since buying a dog, I’ve begun reading the obituaries. It’s not because I’m interested in them, but because my dog needs to poop on newspapers. Often that means pooping on the obituary section. I feel badly about it. Sometimes my dog shits on pictures of somebody’s dead grandma or grandpa. I’m not sure if that makes me an asshole. I’m certainly responsible for it. Putting the obituaries down is my deliberate decision, but I don’t want my dog shitting on the carpet. She’s not yet sufficiently trained to only go outside, and there’s not always enough of a sports section to spare the obituaries.