Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Apologies and Cologne

Cologne is stupid. Why would I want to smell like anything other than myself? I smell magnificent on my own. I don’t need any help.

Apologies are self-indulgent. They’re made for the purpose of relieving your feelings of guilt and regret. They do nothing to heal the injured individual. Apologizing is like masturbating in front of somebody because you did something shitty to them and you want to feel better about it.

Cologne is a pre-emptive apology for one’s own scent. It is ideologically offensive. Jesus would wear cologne, for the same dumb reasons that he wants you to abide by his dad’s ten commandments. Cologne is humanity pretending that we’re something higher than animals.

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