An Ordinary Crucifixion – No. 2

The woman working at the parking attendant’s booth looks to be about 40 years old. She’s got some very blond hair, bleached, permed, about two feet long, topped with a baseball cap. She looks like she’s had a rough life. She’s there every day and I've never once seen her smile. Quite the opposite; she does a great deal of scowling. She looks like she used to have very attractive facial features that settled into this mask through years of scowling. The baggy polo shirt that constitutes her uniform conceals what must certainly be a wraith-like frame. Underneath it, I imagine that even her breasts are angrily scowling. Her forearms are practically skeletal, and wrapped in big veins, like earthworms draped over her skin. She does not speak, ever. My guess is that she used to be a stripper and has only recently been forced to retire from that profession. That has to be humiliating. I suspect that’s where she developed her scowl. I imagine that a few long years of stripping will suffice to drain a good bit of the joyful magic out of life. I’ll bet that will leave you a little bitter and jaded. This can only be aggravated by her current situation. Consider the timeline of a stripper. Stripping is certainly a field that rewards youth. More accurately, it is a field that does not tolerate age. In her prime, she probably made quite a bit of money stripping, which is why she stuck with it so long. Inevitably, as time passed, that cash flow must have diminished to such a point that it led her to retire from stripping and start a career in professional parking lot attendance. I suppose that’s all that 20 years of stripping qualifies you for? I don’t know. Moreover, it must engender a strange cocktail of emotions. The money that she could no longer make dancing was essentially stolen by an abundant set of younger, more nubile girls. Whereas she may resent them for taking money away from her, she cannot honestly fault them for making the same decision that she made herself. They’ve done nothing different than she did. I am quite certain that a healthy and well-justified hatred of men would also run throughout all of those sentiments. Who can blame her? It’s difficult to speculate whether or not she’s had other issues or what those issues might have been. Alcohol? Drugs? Abusive relationships? Who knows?

Beef Jerky and Black Coffee

My piss stunk of beef jerky and black coffee. The urinal cake made it smell worse. My friend entered the room, said, “Think fast, fucker!” and pushed me into the urinal as he walked down to the first available stall. I quickly braced myself on the wall with my left hand, to avoid actually making contact with the urinal, and shouted back, “Asshole!” He laughed out a big loud stinking shit.

Mediocrity

Evil is real. It exists, not externally or absolutely, but as a projection. It is an attitude that we harbor towards things. Regardless of evil’s origin or nature, there it is. You’re wading in it up to your balls. Don’t let it get to you, though. Seeing past it is key. Ignore the mind-fuck. Evil is an underachiever. It may be everywhere. It may seem inescapable. Keep in mind, however, that evil is typically uninspired and mediocre. It’s just dirt. Everything gets dirty, but it’s just dirt. A little vigilance and turpentine wipes it away. The other side of this proverbial coin is the glory of all things beautiful and inspired. It is worth it. It is worth the pain. The beauty is worth ugliness. Strength, art, music, sex, drunkenness, friends, family, and those special moments of accomplishment, serenity, solitude, authenticity, and satisfaction are the real virtue. Victory! It can be simple and tiny, or large and complex, but bliss comes in many forms. It is always more remarkable than uninspired, mediocre negativity. What you want to see is what you will see.

Business

We’ll go about the business of going about business. We have no battles. No defining struggles, no virtue, no honor, no ideals, no cause. We live at the high water mark. We’ve never wanted or suffered. We’re oversexed, overpaid, soft and complacent. We’ve got nice homes, attractive wives with perky tits and no wrinkles or stretch marks, good jobs, conservative values, good educations, 401ks and nice cars. We’re bratty, spoiled, infantile, fat, mediocre, comfortable, and lazy. Are we what our forefathers were fighting for? Are we the end?

Absent Characteristics

Some people are remarkable for what they are. Other people are remarkable for what they’re not. They’re remarkable for their absent characteristics. A man without an ego is a far more unusual creature than a man with giant intellect. Somebody without preconceived notions or assumptions is a more potentially creative individual than somebody possessed of a strong vision. All things being important, the right mix of having and lack is the key.